My After-School Special in Bad Language
I learned most of my dangerous vocabulary before I was old enough to drive, vote, or know when to keep my mouth shut. I was 12 years old. I had a paper route.
Periodically the district manager would call a meeting of all the paper boys. I rode my bike the 2 miles to the meeting place, which was a garage on an alley a block off of State Street. To get there I had to pass by a gas station which was frequented by young men with their custom cars, we often referred to these cars as “Hot Rods”. It seemed that they gathered to show-off their cars, argue about whether the customized Ford was better than the Chevy or even the Hudson, and probably brag a bit too.
Sometimes I loitered at the gas station to have a Nehi soda and listen to them “talk”. What an education! Holy Cow did these guys ever know how to punctuate each sentence with rough and tough language. My vocabulary was now enhanced with words I had not heard before. My mom didn’t swear. The worst I heard from my dad was “Jesus Christ”, or “God Damn It” with increased volume and prolonged emphasis on each syllable.
So, the gas station guys added new words to my vocabulary which could be used to denigrate someone often including random body parts. I will not reiterate these words here. You can use your imagination. I believe the words I learned at age 12 are commonplace throughout society today.
With my new enhanced vocabulary, I of course, had to share. The boys in my elementary school usually gathered in a corner of the playground during recess. I was very quick to use all these new words on my classmates. We enjoyed practicing our new vocabulary on each other. Later, I used them on my siblings until I was caught and reprimanded. As an adult I continue to use this language often at other drivers, with my windows closed of course.
And to this day, every time another driver cuts me off, the paperboy in me still delivers.
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